Poetry

Personal Hell

Then
I saw
A black
Cave.
When I widen
My eyes I expected to see
Home before me.
But I didn't see anything.
I would have sobbed dramatically
But I can't seem to let the tears escape.
There!
Off to the right.
I hear
Your distant
Laughter.
Laughter of
Success.
What
Have
You
Done to me?
You wanted to take all
Your anger out on me for
Something I didn't do?
Oh.
Wait.
That's right.
You were jealous
Of me.
You knew you would never
Have my dark chocolate eyes
Or my quick thinking mind.
So you wanted me out of your way.
What will everyone think
Of you now?

I feel my blood
Seep into the ground
So I can be reborn again.
Sticky and
Thick as though
You chewed me up
Like a piece of gum
Just to spit me out
Onto the pavement
For someone to
Step on.
And yet
You let the bullet
You shot,
Sever my soul.
My only reason
For existing.
As my life
Slips away,
You look at my
Lifeless body
As your trophy.
Then,
This black cave I let
My mind
My being
Slip into
Is your
Personal hell.
You just needed
My perfectness
To run it.

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Volume 3, Issue 2, Posted 11:10 AM, 04.04.2011

"Uncle Floyd"

It was a beautiful sunny day to take the drive...the Euclid Beach State Park is a half hour drive from the group home.
My guys always enjoy the place, boats, fishermen, a snack bar...all the joys of summer.
Today I have all 8 men.
We walk along the paths overlooking the largest body of fresh water in the world.
Left overs from melted glaciers thousands of years ago.

Ice cream, potato chips and pop are on the minds of my guys, not the reason for our great lakes,
but the reason for being near the snack bar.

Just then a man hands me a rolled up bill.
I catch a glimpse of him over my left shoulder, 
Expecting him to ask me to change his 5 dollar bill for singles or some other scam...
he tells me to buy my guys something at the snack bar. 

I place the bill into my t shirt pocket and thank him for his kindness...
wondering if he had a family member in a group home, or what motivated his kindness...
and he just explains, "I get it!"
You get it? I ask. 
One of my guys comes over to say hello to this man.
I tell him about the kind gift and reach into my pocket to show off the bill.
I unroll it and stare...it's a Fifty!

Did you make a mistake? I asked. Do you want change?
No! He replies.

Who are you? What is your name?
Just say it's from Uncle Floyd.

I was deeply moved, I could see Uncle Floyd was also.
every once in a while my cynical beliefs are challenged.

The van was never filled so quickly in my memory...off to the nearest ice cream shop...
for whatever each guy wanted.

Another beautiful day at the lake, ice cream filled the stomachs of my guys and for me...

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Volume 2, Issue 11, Posted 2:14 PM, 11.11.2010

"The Change"

There was once a day

Where you didn't have to be afraid

Where you did have something to say

Where there was not meaning for parade

There was once a time

Where everything was perfect

where no one ever fought

where someone or something was worth it

There was once a girl

who thought of herself

But noticed the world

And Fights for its health

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Volume 2, Issue 6, Posted 12:27 PM, 02.19.2010