Horoscopes

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) ****
It’s important to treat yourself every now and then. If technology isn’t your friend yet, maybe you should get to know each other better. This month you don’t have to go jogging if you don’t want to. Lucky Number - 0101

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) ****
Whether you have a green thumb or not, you want to garden this year, just remember that the fresh food and flowers are worth all the bugs & worms. This month you will have friction with a family member. Lucky Number – 98

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) ****
Spring is the time to start something new, like frisbee golf. When was the last time you had your favorite kind of cookie? This month your co-workers don’t appreciate your special skills, but you’ll win in the end. Lucky Number – par 3

Observer Horoscopes Oct

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) *****

It’s time to celebrate Fall, so wake up and answer its call. Others behavior might make you appalled, forget the smalls, and go to more masquerade balls. This Month above all, pursue the art of being enthralled.

Lucky Number - 12

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) *****

Last month you finances paid the price, but after some advice, and thinking precise, things are finally nice. When one food won’t suffice, eat a thousand rice. This Month roll the dice to get your romance off the ice.

Lucky Number – 1,001

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) *****

Merging energy is what this month is all about, in love, in business, or all throughout. If your diet is making you stout, try a brussel or alfalfa sprout. This Month don’t pout, if you scout your route, you’ll succeed without a doubt.

Lucky Number - 19

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) *****

Someone at work is clearly the weakest link, and starting to make everything stink. If you rethink, reorganize, and  have a caffeinated drink, you’ll save things in a blink. This Month if you wear pink, you might get a wink.

Lucky Number - 709

 Gemini (May 21 – June 20) *****

Enjoy the bountiful harvest, with various veggies from oddest to largest. If love doesn’t combust as promised, use stardust like an artist. This month try to travel the farthest.

Lucky Number - 31415

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) *****

If your opinions don’t meet, greet your obstacles with a sweet treat, and make things complete. more downbeat, and cook tasty meat of wheat. This Month avoid being obsolete by sending a tweet.

Lucky Number - 443

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) *****

Despite others plight, ever polite you help make it all right. Accept an invite for a bright time where you can reunite. This Month focus on what you need to write, whether it’s fictional, legal or digital, write day and night because it’ll bring you delirious delight.

Lucky Number – 1297

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) *****

To succeed at work, don’t think clientele or personnel but Mademoiselle. At home rebel, be your own pastel gazelle, and eat caramel. This Month you finally lift the spell, and say farewell to what made your finances fell.

Lucky Number - 22

 Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) *****

All you can think about is Halloween, and how much you want to pick up your tambourine and a cocktail with tangerine. Keep your workspace clean and stock up on caffeine to avoid problems unseen, and tear it up like Wolverine. This Month hit the scene, embrace daring cuisine, and hug someone Slovene.

Lucky Number - 18

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) *****

After work sunk shrunk and went kerplunk, you finally debunk and move on from the skunk. Spelunk the house and the trunk, to get rid of all the junk. This Month think funk to have all day spunk.

Lucky Number - 2

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) *****

Be flexible but don’t rush in, on plans for the future you want to begin. For a romantic win, in the moment go all in. This Month make time to carve a pumpkin.

Lucky Number - 100

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19) *****

Your career has finally awoke, and has taken center stage as you spoke. Remove the cloak and fix what’s broke. This Month family folk won’t appreciate a practical joke.

Lucky Number - 25+1

 

 

Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 19) *****

You want to be free to go to the picture show and taekwondo. You'll never outgrow your love for Sloppy Joe. This Month - Don't let a type-o let you lose your mojo. Lucky Number - 4r

 

Pisces (Feb 20 – Mar 20) ****

To be as triumphant as Alexander the Great, focus on how you communicate. Don't hate feedback, take it straight, then recreate. This Month don't wait, now is the time to celebrate. Lucky Number - 2,000,000

 

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 20) *****

Be selective in what you give, not who you forgive. In romance be more connective instead of being like a detective. This month your main objective is perspective to be more affective. Lucky Number - 68

 

Taurus (Apr 21 – May 20) ****

In 2011 this could be your best month ever. Be clever, and you'll succeed with every endeavor. This month won't last forever, so live it up whenever wherever whoever whatsoever and with a guy named Trevor. Lucky Number - Pi

 

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) *****

August threw you through a loop, so slow down with a bowl of soup. If not soup try an embroidery hoop. This month take time to recoup and regroup before you rejoin the troop. Lucky Number - 1

 

Cancer (June 21 – July 21) ****

If you're not the one tying the knot, you'll get your shot. It's not about what you forgot, or that you cannot: if you plot you'll get your pick of the lot. This month treat yourself a lot, a day on a yacht, a better golf shot, or maybe something new that's polka-dot. Lucky Number - 3

 

Leo (July 22 – Aug 22) ****

The full moon gives what you lack, and puts your finances back on track. Your relationships remain intact, after you repair a crack that put them out of whack. This month you'll get the knack with a better plan of attack. Lucky Number - 12

 

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) *****

Awake and partake in the merriment where you shake. Remake anything that needs a retake to not be a mistake. This month have a juicy steak with your birthday cake. Lucky Number - 13

 

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) ****

Instead of business going downhill, think outside of the ville, as big as capitol hill to pay the bill. When you've had your fill, reach for something distilled. This month if you have the will and the skill, you will have plenty of time for thrill. Lucky Number - Two Dollar Bill

 

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) *****

Embrace the season galore, and pull the decor out of the drawer. Rid yourself of everything you abhor, and replace it with things you adore. This month ingore next door to score what you quest for. Lucky Number - 25

 

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) *****

When things collide, you help to guide things back in stride. The upside is you won't end up fried and be able to provide. This month is all about pride in where you abide. Lucky Number - 1

 

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 20) ****

Use your brain to refrain involvement in your co-workers insane campaign. You'll come out unslain and reign again.This month ascertain what would make you domain more humane. Lucky Number - 100

 

Observer Horoscopes August

Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 19) ***** Don’t delay, you should seize the day at work and play. New relationships stay if you carefully pave the way. This Month: It’s OK to be Takei Lucky Number: 14

Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20) ***** You feel the constant need for change; maybe the house needs to be rearranged. Maybe you need to get far from the range. This Month: A Night out will lead to an unforgettable romantic exchange. Lucky Number: 2,000,000

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 20) ***** The planets alignment calls for some seriously bold action. Your overflow of stamina leads to quick reactions. This Month: Look for more than just chemical attraction. Lucky Number: 8

Taurus (Apr 21 – May 21) ***** If you’re not careful there could be a misunderstanding. Better communication will prevent a crash landing. This Month: Your optimism is outstanding. Lucky Number: 747

Gemini (May 22 – June 21) ***** For shizzle your inner harmony sizzle fizzles. Warm lights of comfort poppin up in the hizzle. This Month: Keep your financial risks down to the bare mizzle. Lucky Number: 425

Cancer (June 22 – July 22) ***** All you can think about is vacation, not a staycation, but traveling exhilaration. News from a friend is cause for celebration. This Month: Avoid temptation and find your motivation. Lucky Number: $

Leo (July 23 – Aug 23) ***** There will be frustration in your family or community. But you’ll triumph over it all through some extra love and unity. This Month: Good luck will bring you an exciting financial opportunity. Lucky Number: 100

Virgo (Aug 22– Sept 22) **** If you refinance your life could greatly advance. You’ve already done all the planning, so take a chance. This Month: Instead of romance focus on dance. Lucky Number: 9

Libra (Sept 24 – Oct 23) ***** You can achieve all of your goals if you stick to the plan with your attention span. Show some love to your frying pan and watering can. This Month: Instead of “I think I can” think “I’m the man” Lucky Number: 32

Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 22) ***** A family fight can be solved with your incite. Your communications improve your work over night. This Month: Money finally starts to flow to your delight. Lucky Number: 200

Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 21) ***** You’ll be remiss is you’re not cautious what you promise. Avoid ending up in the abyss, by being neutral like the Swiss. This Month: A romantic kiss will bring you true bliss. Lucky Number: 1+1

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 20) ***** After a resting retreat, you’re ready to mingle and meet and greet. Take your priorities out of the back seat to finally make them complete. This Month: Enjoy the heat and put your favorite song on repeat. Lucky Number: infinity

 

 

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) *****

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) *****

You were hoping this would say something cheerful, so… something cheerful. Get your creative juices flowing with a big pot of spaghetti. This Month: It’s still too cold for swimming pools, so put your floaties away.

Lucky Number: Eleventeen

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) *****

Life is like Peanut Butter, it’s just not the same without chocolate, but there’s still a million things you could do with it. Luck is on your side. This Month: You’re thinking about Reese’s cups aren’t you…

Lucky Number: 2 (Reese’s cups in a package)

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) *****

New Moon. New Birthday. New Plans. New shoes for those new plans, and new socks for those new shoes. You’re worth it. This Month: Don’t regret any of those accessories that go with the aforementioned shoes, just buy them.

Lucky Number: 7 ½ - 8 ½

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) *****

The Sun isn’t just a ball of gas in the sky, it’s everything. It’s your mood, your happiness, your energy. This Month; Forget about Twilight and get out.

Lucky Number: SBF 35

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) *****

If you’re still not on the cover of Sports Illustrated, consider taking up golf, it doesn’t look too hard. Love, or something like it, is on its way, and it’s not Italian. This Month: Climb the ladder at work, just don’t look down.

Lucky Number: 62

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) *****

There’s no Leo in Team, work together to get ahead at work. Rethink romantic decisions or else. This Month: your Checkbook will thank you for avoiding your family.

Lucky Number: 0

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) *****

Your meticulous planning pays off by month's end. Embrace Really Purple Socks. This Month: If you can’t decide what to do, go to the Beachland, everyday, even Brunch on Saturdays & Sundays, and did you know they have a new iPhone app.

Lucky Number: Blue

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) *****

Technology will help you succeed in business, if you avoid angry birds. Get UnBirthday presents for your loved ones. This Month: If you can't be the Emporer, try to be the Mayor.

Lucky Number: Par 3

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) *****

Mercury and Venus are opposite your sun, and will make you extremely photogenic. Spend your extra time in the garden surrounded with greenery. This Month: the best kind of drama is on tivo.

Lucky Number: 7

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) *

Spring makes you want to have all your meetings outside, so schedule them that way, unless you have allergies, then come prepared. Romance requires surprises. This Month:  Think Madonna & Express Yourself.

Lucky Number: 5 Bazillion

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 18) *****

Let daffodils guide you to the enjoyment of Frisbee golf. Colorful plaid is your friend, and so is anything pastel, especially mint green. This Month: You’re daring enough to wear mint green, you just don’t know it yet.

Lucky Number: 39.95

Observer Horoscopes

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) *****

Beware odd numbers. Wear colorful clothes. This month will be a month of mystery. Lucky Number: 12

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) *****

Spend time near the lake. Enjoy family. This month call that person you’ve been meaning to call. Lucky Number: 24

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) *****

Embrace literature. Be careful what you post on the web. This month plan a getaway weekend. Lucky Number: 36

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) *****

Plow ahead without checking the details. It could be your best month this year. This month cook a fabulous meal at home. Lucky Number: 48

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) *****

Live life on the edge. Plan carefully to be spontaneous. This month take the plunge. Lucky Number: 60

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) *****

The weather may be getting cold, but your life is getting hot. Expect success in all areas. This month you are unstoppable. Lucky Number: 72

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) *****

Act wild. Throw caution to the wind. This month make music a big part of your daily life. Lucky Number: 84

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) *****

Obstacles fade like mist. You have the power. This month great things will happen. Lucky Number: 96

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) *****

You thought money was running short. You were wrong. This will be a month of huge financial reward. Lucky Number: 108

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) *****

Enjoy life. Spend your time with the people who appreciate how special you are. This month a video will make you cry (in a good way). Lucky Number: 120

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) *****

Things are not as they seem. They are much better. This month complete the project that is dear to your heart. Lucky Number: 132

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 18) *****

Don’t lend money. Beware the brunette with blue eyes. This month be all that you can be. Lucky Number: 144

Observer Horoscopes

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) ****

It’s time to get out of the rut, the door is wide open. If at first you don’t succeed redefine success. This month if your nose runs and your feet smell you are upside down.

Lucky Number: 14

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) ****

Take a break, and have some fun. Go to lunch at Chili Peppers. This month never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Lucky Number: 77

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) *****

No one heads out on the road without a roadmap like an Aries. Practice patience and charity. This month remember first pillage then burn.

Lucky Number: 62

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) *****

Stay steadfast and stubborn. You may have a problem in your family, work, personal, or romantic relationships. This month confession is good for your soul, but bad for your career.

Lucky Number: 2, 7, & 17

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) *****

This will be a great month, you should be happier than a kitten with a Q-tip. Avoid fruit. This month the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Lucky Numbers: 55, 56, 57

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) ***

Your career, family, friends, or pet, may be upsetting your partner. Half the people in the world are below average. This month try to be very modest, but be very proud of it.

Lucky Number: 11, 21, 41

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) ****

You’re a kid at heart, so quit fighting it. Buy more play-doh and bubbles. This month meet an interesting person at happy hour at the Beachclub Bistro.

Lucky Number: 66, 67

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) *****

New beginnings, new hopes, wishes come true. Attend a wedding. The sooner you fall behind the more time you will have to catch up. This month you will be busier than a beaver in a lake full of coffee.

Lucky Number 9, 10, 13,

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) *****

You think there is good in everybody, you obviously have not met everybody. During the day you should sweat it out in the streets of a runaway american dream. This month stay till last call as often as possible.

Lucky Number 19 for Bernie Kosar

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) *****

If everything’s coming your way, you might be in the wrong lane going the wrong way. Participate in ballroom dancing. This month all power corrupts, but absolute power is pretty neat.

Lucky Number 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) *****

Fly by the seat of your pants, you will chatter more than a dolphin next to a fish bucket. Beware of fresh flowers. This month failure is not an option, it is bundled with your software.

Lucky Number 32

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 18) ****

The legal, cultural, travel, relocation, political, religious, academic, or media related issues you have been dealing with over the last couple of years are finally coming to an end. This month if you can’t convince em, confuse em.

Lucky Number 105

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) *****

Is this the time to be ambiguous? Yes and No. Make friends with a neighbor. This month spend time out on the water, but beware of pirates.

Lucky Number: 1EF

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) *****

Stormy days are ahead. Remember that letting the cat out of the bag is easier than putting it back in. This month your loyalty may get you in trouble. Avoid the man with the moustache.

Lucky Number: 9A

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) *****

You like to ride ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there. This month plunge right in, the water and the money will flow.

Lucky Number: 777

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) *****

Your sign is the bull, do not feed the bull a bomb. If you do, it will be abominable. If it blows up it will be noble. This month seriously don’t feed the bull.

Lucky Number: E5

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) *****

Rely on others for your independence, but make sure it’s on your terms. Wax you car and drink Cherry Kool-Aid. This month remember that two can live as cheaply as one, but only half as long.

Lucky Numbers: 1, C2, B

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) *****

Your life resembles a water tower. Watch more sunsets. Do not fly any propeller-powered planes. This month remember a fool and his money throw one heck of a party.

Lucky Number: AC

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22) *****

Be as melodramatic as possible at work. Spend all your extra money on presents. This month birthdays are good for you, the more you have the longer you live.

Lucky Number: AA

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) *****

Be narrow-minded and passionate when making all decisions. Your hidden talent will bring you great success. This month do not go to sleep angry, stay awake and plot revenge.

Lucky Number 20

Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22) *****

You were wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit you. Your charm and diplomacy will give you a chance to prove that money can make you happy. This month follow your dreams, except the one where you are naked at work.

Lucky Number 5

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) *****

A change in your work environment will prove to be for the best. Spend as much time in a pool as possible. This month remember those who forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

Lucky Number EC

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) *****

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. Work will proceed smoothly except for the man with the moustache. This month paint yourself purple and call yourself Barney.

Lucky Number 324

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 18) *****

Remember that a clean desk is the sign of a cluttered drawer. Your heart's desire will remain just out of your reach. This month it’s not who you know, it’s whom you know.

Lucky Number 1

Publisher note: all Lucky Numbers are Hexadecimal

* stay home

** eh

*** so so

**** could be worse

***** Have a Nice Day!

****** not gonna happen

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) ****
Mercury is I'm retrograde. Use extreme caution when handling thermometers. This month march to the beat of a different trumpet. Lucky Number 15 3/4.

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20) *****
The path of this month could go right or left. Romance will play an important part in your evenings. During the day concentrate on work. This month take off the lilac colored glasses. Lucky numbers 1,3,5,7,9. That's odd.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19) ****
Prepare yourself for an adventure. Be strong and assertive. Take the time to make up your mind. This month do whatever they tell you. Lucky Numbers 2,4,6,8. Now we're even.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)******
Keep your life a closed book. Be social. Stay away from crowds. Plan well in advance. This month be spontaneous. Lucky Number 2,467,718.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) ***
Mesmerize others with your continuous gift of gab. Strive to be understood. Do not travel in cars. This month beware of red headed strangers. Lucky number 7.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) *
Find someone to be continously supportive. Travel as much as possible. Do not travel during the full moon. This month your emotions will resemble a nuclear yo-yo. Lucky Letter Q.

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) ****
Do not forgive or forget no matter what. Be passionate. Remodel the kitchen. This month things could get really wild if you leave the lion's den. Lucky Number pi.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) **
Stop being fussy. Buy a new car or boat. Dedicate your life to the service of others. This month play the lotto on odd days only. Play the five digits 53179.

Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) *****
Your ability to make money will greatly be determined by the level of your work. Stop staring. Seek out your prince or princess. This month keep up  the false front. No such thing as a lucky number for Libras.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) *****
You are wise beyond your years. Stop showing off. Wednesdays will be lucky. This month beware lights in the sky. Play 999 Boxed.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) *****
This is a good time for you to change the world. Try new foods on a Sunday. Romance might blossom. This month if you stop to smell the roses - be careful! Lucky Number spider.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 18)  ****
Try unusual approaches. Keep moving. You will not be content till you reach the top. This month you will get half way there. Lucky number 1/2.