Can you find the child in the messy room?
Volume 2, Issue 3, Posted 2:02 PM, 03.07.2010
My kids do not pick up the house. It gets to a certain point and yelling is involved, and then they pick up. As soon as it’s picked up they start messing it up again. I don’t have time to stand over them; I feel like throwing out all their stuff. Please help. Thank you, Single Dad.
Dear Samantha,
Dear Collinwood Observer Reader: Of course we do. We have advice on everything. Tantrums are something we are often asked about, because they are a stage of development parents would like to be able to move their child through as quickly as possible. Tantrums often occur in public places such as supermarket check-out lines and shopping malls. They are characterized by out-of-control screaming and thrashing, and if the parent starts screaming and thrashing herself, matters only get worse.
The Grannies' Holiday Shopping GuideDear Grandmothers: Our holiday shopping issue of the Observer will be coming out soon, and we can hear our readers asking, “eek, what can I get my kid/grandkid who has everything?” or, given the economy, “what can I get my kid that will be valuable but doesn’t cost a lot?” What do the Grandmothers suggest? – Erin Randel
Dear Erin and all you Observer readers,
Remember “Little House on the Prairie,” when the Ingalls girls were thrilled to receive an orange and a peppermint stick in their stockings, and nothing more? We Grandmothers aren’t quite THAT old, but when it comes to The Holidays, we are that old-fashioned. We would love to see modest gift exchanges become the norm again, as opposed to mounds and mounds of gifts under an over-decorated tree, or, worse yet, unhappy children who had hoped for mounds and mounds of gifts under the tree but were disappointed.
So, if you are quite satisfied with your holiday celebrations as they’ve always been, with excessive gifts followed by excessive credit card bills, you can stop reading right now. But if, on the other hand, you’d like some ideas for some less costly but meaningful gifts for your children, grandchildren, and nieces and nephews, read on.Dear Collinwood Observer Reader: No one has asked for our advice lately, so we're going to offer some today unsolicited, on the subject of play.THE OLD DAYS
Finally, research has vindicated the mothers of half a century ago who routinely opened the back screen door and told their kids to go play, and not to bother coming back until the street lights came on or they heard the dinner bell, whichever came first. Turns out these mothers were not being abusive and neglectful. The moms of the previous century didn’t know it, of course, but they were ensuring that their children developed a critical cognitive skill called “executive function.”
What kids did when their hours were not filled with TV, video games, and electronic toys (or yoga classes, soccer games, and tiny tot gymnastics) was regulate their own activities, mostly in improvised imaginative play. They played cops and robbers, house, or school, their own reality-based dramas. They also became the characters in fantasies involving queens and dragons, cowboys and horses, flying caped heroes and tall buildings, pirates and sinking ships. And as they did this, researchers are telling us now, they were developing “executive function,” the ability to self-regulate, the measurement of which turns out to be a better indicator of success in school than the results of an IQ test. Kids with good self-regulation skills are better able to control their emotions, resist impulsive behavior, and become self-disciplined and self-controlled.
