Define this time of the year for you

This time of the year can have different meanings for each one of us. Traditionally, it is categorized as a time for family gatherings and finding the perfect gift. For others this may be a time of sorrow and may mean a period of unresolved pain, loneliness, family friction, reminders of loss, or not being able to provide during this difficult financial period.   

Count your blessings and give thanks for being able to enjoy the company of loved ones and feast on a good meal. If your family gatherings are drama-free and a source of joy and fulfillment experience and appreciate them fully.

If the holiday season has meant sorrow and not so happy feelings, acknowledge the feeling, feel the feeling, but do not become the feeling, realizing this too shall pass. Take a good look at why you feel this way and know that we always have a choice how we respond to people, situations, and events. As difficult as this can be sometimes, we do have the option of  turning lemons into lemonade.

Are you ready to have a different experience this year? Honestly, ask yourself what is it that you did you not like about previous holiday seasons. Then slow down, close your eyes, relax, and use your imagination to dream about how would you like this season to look. Imagination is free. Do not pay attention to any obstacles that may pop up in your mind. Out of this dream, pick one or two things that can be reasonably changed. 

Do not try to change your whole life in one instant. You will overwhelm yourself and sabotage your goals. Next, start thinking of what you need to fulfill your dream or come close as possible to your desires and take the first step, even if it is just a small step. Make a daily commitment to move toward your goals.

If family gatherings are difficult for you or you are dreading the drama that comes along with your family gatherings, try spending less time with your family and spend time with another family. Don’t have any family left or close by, now may be a good time to start establishing an extended family or form new friendships. Someone who is sick or shut-in at home, a nursing home, or hospital, would be very grateful to spend time with someone. Being around other people and helping others can be very rewarding and gives you a warm feeling inside. The most precious gift we can give is of ourselves. 

There is no need to feel lonely or isolated. Many organizations are looking for volunteers. If you are homebound it may be possible to accomplish activities at your home, via the telephone, or internet. Helping out will make you feel valued and will help occupy your time, instead of spending the day alone.

Make this a period of reflection and evaluation. Make every effort to go into the New Year fresh with a different perspective on life. Set some reasonable new goals with deadlines for accomplishments. Write them down so you will be less likely to abandon them. Start planning on how you will leave sickness, depression, anger, anxiety, addictions, grudges, bad relationships, complaints and other negative toxic ideas and thoughts in 2010.

Start working to free yourself right now. Will it be easy? Probably not. Will it take work? Yes. Will you have setbacks? Maybe. Changing and renewing ourselves has never been easy work. Don’t try to go at it alone. Seek assistance from a higher power, a good friend, a minister, or mental health professional. 

If you want something different in your life, you have to do something different. Say to yourself, "Another year addicted? Not me. Another year lonely and depressed? I don’t think so. Another year feeling sorry for myself? Hell no. Another year complaining about what someone did to me? Not in 2011. Another year in a bad relationship? No way."

Reinvent what this time means for you. You cannot stop the season or New Year from coming, but you can decide how you will experience it. You are the author of your life, if the previous chapters have been great, keep doing what you have been doing. If the previous chapters have been disappointing, pick up your pen and start rewriting the plot now.